To Howl at the Moon
by writtenonwings
Summary: Pre-Season 10: What happens at the crossroads stays at the crossroads. One-Shot featuring Demon!Dean Desperate!Sam and a hint of Crowley - inspired by a comment on Pinterest


**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing - fan purposes only :)**

 _So this is it._ He thinks messily smearing a hand across his face and into his hair, following the long strands down. _This is just how it's gonna have to be._ The shovel in his good hand clanks noisily against the rocky soil as he packs it back down around the Earth's newest treasure. He tries not to think too much about that box and its ingredients, namely his own picture within.

He feels almost naked simply standing there with one arm strapped tightly to his chest. The only weapon within range is a knife tucked into place along his thigh. He won't put up a devil's trap. He's tried before and no matter how carefully crafted his plan is, they seem to stay one step in front of him, sensing the danger, and they never come. This constant game of cat and mouse was wearing him thin, it was time to repay a favor, and get the deal done.

With a weary sigh he did the only thing left he could do, he waited and prayed against hope that a brunette angel could give him back his brother. Such things were only dreams now though, wandering through a tired mind, it was far too late for such things that he had long ago given up on. His hope now lay in a demon at the crossroads.

 _Sulfur, why was it always sulfur? Sure no throne room down here deserved to smell of sunshine and lilies but would it kill someone to vent the reek out of here sometime? ... Probably._ He mused quietly on it to himself for a moment, enjoying the biting taste of properly aged scotch.

"I've got a job for you." He muttered wondering if he was making the right decision all the while knowing he couldn't pass this opportunity up.

"Who said I was looking?" the gravely whisky burned voice of his drinking partner ground out from just behind his right shoulder. Its tone bit deeper than the scotch, a reminder of just how much orders were tolerated.

"Don't think I haven't seen you pacing around here like a caged animal." He snarled. "Or all those times you glaze over out there. You're an animal, a primal force, embrace it! … I'm only looking to give you a little fun."

"Hmm" was all that followed for the longest of times until the thought had nearly passed Crowley's mind altogether, after all, he could always send someone else. He was halfway to acting on that when the soft clink of a glass being set down on stone rang in his ears.

There was a throat clearing cough and then "So this job?". Crowley couldn't help the grin that crawled up onto his face.

"Yes, I think you'll do perfectly."

The sudden appearance shook Sam from his doze and nearly stopped his heart. Lungs couldn't seem to find the air anymore.

"Dean!?" he shouted.

Black eyes rolled in their sockets, scattering the moon's reflected light, the only way to discern the movement at all. A staccato puff of air escaped the demon's lips followed closely by a mutter of "I should've known better."

"Dean!" but there it was again, more urgent, trying to remind him of all he's left behind. It didn't help that moose boy was closing in on him too; stumbling over his own two feet, in an effort to reach a brother that no longer existed. The mark was a burning itch on his skin increasing in the need to be noticed and dealt with every step that the other man took. Uncharacteristically, the demon stepped back, raising his forearms in the air with a wave.

"Enough!" he spoke more forcefully than needed and watched the dejected look form on his baby brother's face. He could almost believe that the baby had grown up into a man that was able to care for himself, almost, until he saw the tears.

"Why?" The whispered sob carried across the long space between them and only fanned the fire within.

"Why?" he grunted in outrage. "Maybe just once I wanted something just for me, something I never got to have since I carried you out of that fire when I was four."

"And what's that Dean?"

"Freedom" he said spreading his arms wide in the air. "You know, I never thought I'd regret all the sacrifices I made for all those years though but I do now. Look at yourself, look at what you're doing" his boot toe scratched away at the newly packed dirt. "It ain't right and I don't want to be saved."

"Maybe it's not always about what you want."

"You're right, it's never about what I want, but I'll make sure that this…" he points at the dirt "doesn't work. Ever." He adds. "I didn't waste all that time so you could go and throw your life away."

"But Dean, we'll figure this out, there's got to be-"

"No." The elder sibling cuts his brother off. "There's nothing to stop this, to change this, but I knew that going in. The sooner you realize that too the better off we'll be." Angrily he shoves hands with crooked fingers into the pockets of his frayed jeans. All his attention focused on absently kicking a dirt clump with his boot. His voice becomes much quieter to his brother now, almost like the one that used to sing lullabies to him when he was sick. "Just stay away Sam." Back eyes rolled across that tall frame one last time, quick, but cataloging every detail. A smirk quirked up one corner of the demon's mouth just a bit, but it was gone, almost instantly with the shake of a head. Almost too quiet to be heard "Get a haircut Sammy." was all he said before vanishing into the thin cold air. The only proof he was ever there were the boot prints scuffed into the dirt of the crossroads.

In the quiet and empty night Sam dropped to the ground and howled out the frustration and pain of his overburdened heart. He was still convinced that he would find a way to save his brother.

"Next time take care of it yourself." Dean spat at Crowley upon reentering the throne room.

"I take it the deal didn't go well, did it?"

"Very funny. It never will and so help me if I hear of just one of your little friends here trying to collect any deal on him I'll…" The collective gasp that followed the threat through the gathered demons of the throne room was enough that he didn't need to finish his thought. Head held high he headed for the door.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Crowley spluttered.

"To howl at the moon." He glanced back over his shoulder just once "Aare you coming?" the black eyes glinted and he was gone.


End file.
